tracked my calories again this day, i cannot remember what i did this entire day... you'd think if you have a daily blog you would make some time every single day for your blog ?? but i was still in some kind of trans, just completely forgetting to update the page. this day i did start working on an animation for eonz's character page. you see, i have this voice claim section on his character page aaand i just wanted to make an animation for it !!

up here you see a frame of it !! im still unsure if im gonna color it... theres alot of still frames and my site is very light colors (unlike most of my work) so i may just keep the bg white ??? and the characters colored... that might be cool !! i literally got so freaky and i made about 15 unique small doodles for this mini animation !!! im excited to show u guys lels

today i woke up from a feverdream this day i guess, i started this day to build a new routine for literally my whole life and it took me a couple of days to figure that allll out so im updating now on the 4th !! this is the last entry for this month !!! how exciting ~

i really started tracking my calories and workouts again today, i really fell off with that and honestly my body really fell off so i just started going more and tracking my calories better in the afternoon this day i ate chevape with some mustard, green beans and some strawberries !! i remember it being good but it just wasnt salty enough for me for some reason

cant recall anything else i did >.<

today i woke up and i cleaned my room absolutely entirely, down to the details, and then i also took it apon myself to clean the rest of the house a little too while i was at it i rearranged some crap... and i had to clean some mold off of my minecraft mini fridge ?? that part was gross. but i have a minecraft creeper mini fridge its so fucking cool ...

after cleaning some parts of the house i decided i wanted to go outside cause i had to return some shirts my mom got me that just were too small on me. i waited for her to get home so that she could drive me LOL. she did she was happy to do so and i got a nice pair of jeans for when i go on vacation to egypt, i wanted something that would make my ass look nice so i chose bootcut flare ish shape ?? i also got some mouse for my hair and like, some other thing i cant remember. i had a cheeky little coke zero while i was out it was pretty yummy if i do say so myself

for dinner my mom made chicken wings in the oven with sweet potato and regular potato, and i ate some of that along side with another delicious yogurt bowl... thoroughly enjoyed. after dinner i coded the enture time all the way up untill now (4:30 am) . i finished hisa's entire character page, and i also made a image gallery catagorized in years on his toyhou.se page !! very excited to reuse that page for something useful. its just easier for me to upload and update toyhouse images consistantly compared to updating here every time ~

on monday i did nothing much remarkable at all actually, i watched boondocks with my girlfriend, i ate food whenever i felt like it, i was snacking alot yum yum. i also drew a picture of my friend for my about me page, since i had not done that yet and i was getting around to it !

i ate chevape today, which were really good. i had mild ajvar on my plate with chopped raw onions and some mayo to the side too... cause of course i do. then i had a piece of bread to eat it with. as a side dish i had cabbage salad, and as my dessert i had a protein greek yogurt bowl thing with some homemade jelly my mom made ?? yes my breath stanked and nauuu i didnt give a fuck

i finally woke up from what feels like a total mega feverfream. the past 2 days ive been doing 8am to 3pm shift and then when i would get home i would stay in bed and rest and i would eat stuff at home and not go to the gym because i dont know why the job drains my energy as MUUUUUCH as it does but it reaaaally does

on day one of working it went by very slowly but the people were nice to me, so that was nice. it was super filthy so i cleaned up also because i was bored and wanted to make a decent impression on my coworker who was going to switch shift at 3pm... and also because its my job to do tasks and whatever. yeah. in the nightime my coworker in a panic saying he lost the note i wrote him that had a reminder of everything he had to toss that night and he was scared he was gonna get fired. i reminded him what the things were. on day two people were assholes to me idk why i just treated them the same as they day before but they kept wanting to look at me weird. when i opened the top drawer next to the cash register i found my note in there.

then at night on the second night i watched this kdrama thing. i didnt like it. it was like this dude and this girl and they had like the most perfect and romantic and picture perfect relationship and then one morning the girl turns into this dude. and the memories stay she just changed. theres like 3 episodes and on the end of episode 3 he just turns back and like... he broke up because he couldnt see himself dating him as a dude and it just left me feeling like oh wow damn okay LOL. thats it. i dont remmeber what i ate it was just mainly toasts and burgers... and yogurt bowls and stuff like that.

this day i hung out with my best friend in rotterdam, before i left i had eaten a yogurt bowl yesterday after the gym me and my mom picked blackberries from outside and i know thats kinda not allowed but its not like we took all of them LMAO ...anyways back to my friend, so me and her went out and she got to get her hair done and i just stayed by her side for that, we got her some new clothes from the primark, there were sooooooo many cute clothes here that reminded me of my girlfriend so i took some pics for her. my friend did her makeup too and she looked very nice all dolled up, it was nice to see her again also. for the people who know what that second image is enjoy LMAO

after i went home i dont really remember what i did. on my way home i stopped by the mc donalds and i got myself a combo meal and it spilled all over my bag lmao ! this will happen again today ffs lol. i swear i HAAAATE those mc donalds cups. i also didnt go to the gym this day because my leg is hurting alot i dont know whats wrong with it...it hurted even worse today. slept AMAZINGLYYYYYY thank my gf for that ;)

im writing this at a mmuuuuch later time, anyways !! i woke up, had breakfast, paced around, weirdly felt skinny. my yogurt bowl had fruits in it as always, i coded the whole afternoon just working on random stuff on the site, i cant exactly recall all i know is that i was working on the characters tab the whole day. i also talked to my best friend and we basically established that we need to go shopping immedietly and we scheduled to go the next day.

me and my girlfriend were just hanging out and drawing, i was guiding her on how to make digital art, shes been practicing alot more !! we sit on the phone one on one for hours sometimes and i think its cute. although, decently skilled like me, sometimes you need to have some patience. stuff that just has always felt like common sense... is actually something i taught myself indirectly. we also watched boondocks together notice a trend. for dinner i had my moms chicken with cauliflower she made me. the white bowl is the sauce i made, greek yogurt with like, zachin and lots of garlic powder thru...

i went to the gym, i dont remember what i did, i just usually either cardiomax or lift the weights of whatever muscle group hurts the least that day, ive been lacking in the gym recently though because every part of me has just been hurting nowadays and my girlfriend always says i should skip the gym when i whine... anuway...i took a shower and my knees look like theyre broken in 5 spots theyre shaped all weird and its funny to me... in the nighttime i was jealous my girlfriend was eating toast, so i wanted to eat toast.. i made toast... one with cream cheese and one with jam. that bowl has tuna in it for the protein.

i woke up and texted my girlfriend telling her i missed her and that i wish she was awake and this girl deadass texts me saying "your wish is my command" and literally just woke up lmfao ?? i went away for a bit to the city centre to get a cart from the coffeeshop. dude said it was the last one and that i was lucky. lol thats right, cause this one costed me 35 eu and the other ones cost 59 eu ??? who in their right mind charges that much for a disposable lol

at around 1 pm i decided to eat something and i had a yogurt bowl with fruits, i had grapes and strawberries and half of an apple in there and it was so good. of course i loved it. i hung out with my girlfriend and i think we watched something together, probably boondocks, and i also coded plenty. i didnt feel like going all tje way to the city centre for my food order so i just ordered it ?? lol. i got extra tenders today... i liked them... i love my fast food order alot and i look forward to it all the time...

i went to the gymmm at my usual time of like 8pm, and i did like.. half an hour on the bike and half an hour on the stairmaster ?!?! which is pretty crazy because i usually dont do any shit like that LOL. i have this sanrio cup, its cute and pink and it makes me happy and reminds me of my girlfriend. when i tell you. i get so many stares from people. i feel like its just a cup dude who cares

i woke up way too late, like super late, i had slept through my therapy appointment yetttt againnnn... that shit had me properly pissed off. i dont know i just dont think this day was going to be good no matter how badly i wanted it to go good ?? i dont know why.. but it just felt like it was going to be a bad day and thus it became a bad day. journaling is kind of hard with my memory being so bad, but i love love love it so im trying very hard to remmeber. i found this cute camo set on tiktok that i think is so cute. i want my girlfriend to wear it for me. i live alot through her... lol. just look though !!!

i had a yogurt bowl with cut up grapes and strawberries today. i got super upset i couldnt find my stevia and my dad took it with him ??? bro i was so fucking pissed cause that container was expensive too ??? why ????!?!?! anyway. the yogurt was yum and i enjoyed it and yeah. for dinner i had this... a yum yum mc donalds orderrr cause i wanted mc donalds idgaf im very picky with my food i will eat what i want. anyways after that i went to the gym and i walked on a high incline for an hour.

at home i wanted to code for a while but i ruined it by binging on a bag of chicken wings and 2 hamburgers. i was so upset with myself so i went to the gym and just started rowing in that rowing machine and i did like 1000 rows. after that i went on the stairmaster for 10 mins. it. was. empty in there. while i was rowing there was still a few people but really not that many.

at some point it was just me and this guy. he was gojng around doing maaaany different exercises. he would be running, then stairmaster, then elyptical, then rowing, then back to the treadmill, then bikes... and i was just talking about the most diabolical thing with my girlfriend on the phone, something about drugs, and by the time i was on the stairmaster i felt so much better. i didnt know rowing would work your arms that much... but maybe it was just my form ?? idk it was fun tho. when i snuck back in my house i made it upstairs but what ended up waking my mom up was not me sneaking in and out at 1am-3am but me dropping my phone and it making a loud thump LMFAO. kms.

so... yesterday was bad and today i was worse ?? i woke up on 2 hours of sleep pissed off as a man could possibly be. i did my eyebrows and my hair and i put on that stupid ass work shirt and i left. i work at a gasstation, its pretty ok. the gas station is like, very small and compact and i work on my own which is very chill and nice like i scored so good with this job however i just burn out rlly quick with my job. there might be an oppertunity for me to go on disability because of my autism but we will see

work was fine, it was the same as before i left, except the task list was on the tablet instead of on a sheet of paper. i was just really moody. i was otp with my girlfriend that isnt my girlfriend but shes still my gf i love her im just not done being mad. we talked things through for a long time, which i dont mind, we talked about stuff untill i was satisfied and i also needed to.. actually do my other tasks so i did everything really quick untill my other coworker came in for the night shift

it wasnt busy at allll because we have a leak under the ground ??? so we can only sell 1 varient of gas which is crazy to me... gas station that doesnt sell gas lmfaoaoao. when i got off work i was so tired i just wanted to go home and sleep but i had to eat something first cause i had no time for breakfast. and.. again like yesterday i made some shrimp with garlic and i had some green beans with it. it. was. so. good. i also grabbed what i thought was a ripe avocado... and half of it was genuinely like ripe ripe... but the other half ?? it was half like a soap bar. i tried to take out the pit and i literally lowkey stabbed my hand my life is such a joke.

went upstairs... took out my contacts, laid in bed with my girlfriend and i just remember her telling me i needed some good sleep and i was like yeah.. and then i slept untill fucking 1 in the morning. mf i got off at 2 pm and i was just gone. i needed that sleep so bad but i was pissed cause i wanted to go to the gym really bad and i just didnt feel like going at 1 am ??? maybe im not gymbro enough dude.. some other dudes at my gym ive talked to will sacrifice anything for the gym and i just feel like idgaf about the gym that much. not THAT MUCH haha

i do not remmeber much im gonna be fr.. i had to go to my job today cause i had to pick up my old keys. i had not been to work for a long time cause i was on a hiatus i guess, but i went back to get my keys and it was really nice to see my nice coworker again !!! i even met a new coworker this day and he was friendly too, there have been multiple new people hired since the last time i worked... its kinda crazy, i used to work so much hours with fulltime school too... and now ??? i have 4 shifts the entire summer... bro. just say you hate me fat fucking manager

from my work i decided to go to the convenience store and i bought myself a monster energy, one of those sugar free pastel pink ones... my ex friend used to get me those allll the time for my shift to pull me thru it and i was wondering what he was up to, so i bought the one that reminded me of him... lil weird but whatever. he lowkey just stopped talking to me one day, he got super distant with me and would avoid texting me or hanging out with me and i was just like ok if u wanna be like that then be like that. i just think its funny that he hasnt left my friendgroups life360 or unfollowed me or unadded me or nothing, we never talked about the end it just happened. lol such a random thing to unload about but its trueeeeee !!! anyways, becides the point. i went back and my gf woke up.. i genuinely cant recall much of what i did except just code, code, code and code.

i forgot to eat again and i felt like a frail victorian child and i was like yeah ok lets make some food, so i was craving these shrimp we had and we also had like... a glass jar with green beans in the fridge i opened a while ago so i decided to make a meal out of that. i made some shrimp with garlic and i sauteed it all nice and it was BOMMMMMBBBBBBBBB asf i made it so good ill put the recipe on my recipes tab cause u wishhhh i was making ts for you dont u, just look. oh and that other bowl is half an apple. we are out of all the good fruit so i made it work...

i skipped the gym again cause i was having too much fun coding and i TRIED to go to bed early cause i had work in the morning but that didnt happen and my bipolar ass argued with my gf for way too long and it was pretty bad i lowkey broke up with her like i was really in... a moment ?? its fine she knew what she signed up for LOL. i slept for 2 hours ????? i went to sleep at like 3:30 finally after freaking out and crying and whisper yelling for a bit too long and i had to wake up at like 5:30 to get to work on time. most uneventful day ever... except for my drama i guess

oh my god today... today i was very deep into my grind i tell you. i woke up with the only thing i wanted to do was code... but i didnt have the chance to do it yet so i went to clean my room first, cause i havent cleaned my room in 2 weeks... so i went ahead and did that all nice and lovely, it took me like an hour i think with some breaks but it got done eventually... sighs. i got on my laptop and i just kinda did some crap untill i got hungry and i had a pancake. i also had half of an avocado.. like i just scooped it out of its shell ? lols !!

this day... i was so in to my grind, deep deep into it. i worked on it pretty much all day from when i woke up untill i went to sleep... i worked on my recipes page, i pretty much made the whole theme for that and added in 8 recipes to start off with, just some pics of snacks i had on my phone !! i also found a free music player too, which is so. fucking. awesome dude. i styled it to match my site and it looks SO GOOOOD. its on my front page and it should still be there so check it out !! i was messing with that for a while though... when i was finally done it was 4 am and i didnt want to stop working on it but my body was telling me no... go to sleep

i spent pretty much my entire day with my girlfriend on the phone too. we're long distance. when she woke up at about 12 am here, she instantly went to work, and got off at 10 pm and i was still doing the same shit LOL. we watched boondocks together untill i fell asleep. she never watched it, which i think is hilarious because im white and shes half black but she was cackling the whole time. also i was so busy i forgot the gym but ill go definently more soon...

i have some drawings my girlfriend drew of me and her that i wanted to show off !!! shes doing so good learning to draw... im so proud of her...

goodmorning blawg... i dont remember when i woke up yesterday... maybe 11-12 am. i was very very tired still, despite sleeping fine... so i went to the store !! i took my cans with me, in the netherlands we have something called "statiegeld". its like a tax on cans, bottles, beer, ect ect. you pay a tax when you buy it, and then if you return it to any super market, you get that tax back !!! of course i take advantage of this, it basically feels like free money lol

we have these babyblue red bulls here, and they are sugarfree, so i went and got myself 5... of course i dont drink them all at once if you thought that... i also got a big bottle of sisi. then i went back home and i couldnt find anything interesting to draw on artfight... so i coded instead and i made some decent progress... lowkey... i made like 15 attacks this artfight and i got like 4 back this year... we still have the rest of the month left over, but it does have me feeling a bit demotivated...

i stayed busy and i had half an avocado for breakfast and i had some yogurt with kiwi. the enzymes in kiwi make the yogurt taste so bitter... so you have to eat it fast if you try it... before i went to the gym i ate some food, i was too lazy to go to the mc donalds today so i just had 2 pancakes... i tried to eat some lasange to atleast try it but i didnt really like the texture, it was not very nice. so i didnt finish it.

i went to the gym at 9pm today, which i know is late, but i was actually having alot of fun coding that i literally forgot everything else... at the gym i went for an hour on the bike and i burned like 450 calories i think... it was pretty hard but nothing i couldnt do !!

my quads are reaaaally hurting from the treadmil and incline walking ive been doing recently... and im having some trouble taking rest days when i know i need them so instead of overworking my quads even more, i just worked my thighs instead.

the rest of my night went smoothly ~ my dad was going to leave me and my mom cause hes going to a foreign country for like 4 weeks so my days will be pretty chill for a while~

hi !! i guess this will be a little test of what it would look like if i wrote blog entries on here . i used to have a tumblr blog i wrote alot on, but it actually got banned so i didnt write anything since it got banned , i was very attached to it, like i had it for months and i would write everything i could think of for my day on there, and i really missed it.

i always write the day after, since i can recall exactly everything that happened ... see it like a diary maybe ?

soooo yesterday i woke up... at maybe 10 am ?? my mom woke me up cause she was doing like.. laundry i dont mind when she does it but it would be nice to be able to sleep in... im on summer vacation and i keep trying to send in job applications, but nobody seems to be summer hiring. i was off from work for a whiiiile cause i got majorly depressed a year ago and i have still been recovering, however i am running out of money..

i went to the corner store and i bought one of those pink red bulls. it was the last one left and it was soooo yummy actually it was nice to go outside too actually it made me feel better. then i worked on figuring some stuff out again on my site thing and i was doing that for a long time... i had a yogurt bowl with kiwi but i forgot to take a photo of it...

i went to the gym reaaaally late today, like at 8pm... i wanted to go to the mc donalds first cause... i didnt want to eat lasange.. so i went and i got a mc donalds burger like a cheap one and i got an order of fries... i scarfed that shit down in my workout clothes and i got some weird looks from people i guess so i just left

when i went to the gym my mother was waiting for me so i let her go in the gym with me.. it was okay, i looove going to the gym, it always makes me feel better. then i went back home with my mom cause i didnt want her to walk outside alone. i just stayed on the phone with my girlfriend while i was doing stuff on my macbook untill i got pissed and went to sleep ...